Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Happiness is a warm Gun, I am your Gun, Barrel of a Gun, Jannie's Got a Gun, Live by the Gun, Tommy Gun, Big Gun, The Home Coming Queens Got a Gun, Annie Get Your Gun, Gospel Machine Gun, Gun, Love Gun, Get My Gun, Big Man With A Gun, Under the Gun, Live By the Gun, The Killers Under the Gun, Buss My Gun, Lazy Gun, Zip Gun, Number One Gun, Steely Dan With A Gun, Get My Gun, Give Her a Gun, Ray Gun, Bring A Gun, Siamese Gun, Throw Away The Gun, Me And A Gun, A Boy and His Machine Gun, Dancing Like a Gun, Johnny Got His Gun.

Mystical Machine Gun

.44 for you cross-beaters.

Close enough for the skull crack-echo to mush my ears,
outstretched tongue tastes brain-froth and blood in the air.
A big slug bounces through last exhale.
My gift to you...

... find your god bitch.

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Food truths;

- goes better with beer
- sometimes needs to be so spicy hot, you can feel it all the way through
- The best part about Kimchee is not the spicy, garlicy fermented cabbage when eaten. Its that the shit fights back afterwards.
- coffee should always be strong
- milk has it's uses, but in general, it's nasty stuff
- most people can't write a recipe for shit, this is why even if you have instructions it's good to know the basics
- the above, x2 if it's posted on the internet
- western society, in general, has an under appreciation for the many aspects of the flavor of fish
- same for garlic, come on... i can taste at least 5 dimensions in there. Peal a clove, and stick it between cheek and gum sometime and you'll know what I mean
- make no compromises, a household eating at the lowest common denominator is a household full of mostly miserable people. send the white-bread throwback to McD's and make some FOOD.
- Alton Brown is a fucking god.
- In a good way.
- When you watch "Clash of the Titans" and start wondering if the Kracken is white meat or red meat, you are open minded enough.
- Too bad it's a rubber stop-action puppet.
- Yum! Kracken with garlic/cilantro marinade over mesquite!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Who's Offensive?

Strict Islamic countries find women wearing white socks sexually provocative and offensive. Pictures of humans or animals are offensive and men who shave their faces are offensive. Card playing is offensive. Girls attending school and receiving an education are offensive. Women who vote are also offensive...

In fairness, what Islam doesnt find offensive should be examined. Many Muslims did not find the murder of 3,000 people on 9/11 offensive. Saddam Hussein, responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of fellow Muslims, was not offensive. Forbidding the practice of other religions in an Islamic country is not offensive while daring to question what might be going on inside a mosque in America, is terribly offensive.

The murder of thousands of Iraqi Muslims doesnt seem to offend Islamics, as long the killing is being done by other Muslims. If an American soldier kills a Muslim trying to kill him, that is offensive. The beheading of helpless prisoners by freedom fighters is not offensive. Putting mass murderers in a prison camp that provides good food, allows time to pray, provides copies of the Quran and prayer rugs, gives medical and dental care, and allows Islamic clerics to provide the prisoners with religious council, is offensive.

The Quran touching the floor is offensive but urinating on or burning the Bible is not. Profiling people from Islamic countries that support terrorism is offensive but imprisoning Christians for wearing a cross is not. Teaching people about Islam is encouraged, but teaching Christianity is a beheading offense.

Islamics are not offended when Omar Ahmad, co-founder of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, declares that it is the goal of CAIR to replace our Constitution with the Quran and is incensed if Americans are offended. After all, that is being disrespectful of the Quran. Any American who does not want the Quran replacing the Constitution and who speaks out against Islam is immediately labeled an Islamaphobe. When Islam is involved, there is no freedom of speech.

Another thing that doesnt seem to offend many Muslims is the killing of a ten-year-old rape victim. She must have been asking for it. The little vixen soiled the family name and was probably wearing white socks. Also not offensive is the stoning to death of women who are merely suspected of being with a man not their husband. Hanging college students who dare to speak out against oppressive and cruel ayatollahs isnt offensive to many Muslims either.

- some random asshole on Fark.